Operation Purity has been aborted
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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