Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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