I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
