i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
