If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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