You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
