Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There's always time for handjobs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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