my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
