Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
