you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
