I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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