when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize