what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
