"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I need help removing her.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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