My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
