Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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