Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
