Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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