I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
