Porn is love you can see.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
