fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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