Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize