I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wish I only lived at night.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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