so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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