Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
