Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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