The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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