i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You're like the curious george of whores
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
