I need to stop coming to work sober
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
