I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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