I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
