So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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