I feel like abortions should bother me more
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
