dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
