And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
