this beer tastes like vomit already
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
