Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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