no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
