I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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