He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
