I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize