I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
