I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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