I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize