Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
