I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
