at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
