you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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