Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He better not be in your backpack
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
