Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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