did you get engaged???
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
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He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
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He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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