I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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