My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
