Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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