Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Let's get the cat blown out
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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