If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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