Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
