I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
