The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
